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*Ignite my soul with the fire in your eyes* [entries|friends|calendar]

[ website | surrah&space bitches ]
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[31 Jan 2006|03:57pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

today's my birthday bitches

♥ ♥

2 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[01 Dec 2005|02:47pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

my one month today :]
yay for me

1 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[16 Nov 2005|08:53am]
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11 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[28 Aug 2005|12:46pm]
[ mood | ehhhh ]

hi everyone;;
everthing has been really good.

first, i went driving with my mom.
i did pretty well except when she was
screaming at me, i was like crying on the way
home. but i thought i did okay. apparently
i don't care about pedestrains and other cars.
which is probably mroe then 100% true. after
i hung out with jen and chris (chicken parm)
who i havn't hung out with in forever.
we met up with chris and cooch at a&p.
then cooch left and me jen and chris went
to eat at the diner together, which was good.
then jen dropped me off at darrell's.
i hung out there, it was our 4 months.

i drove with my mom again,
i did almost crash the car cause once again
i didn't look at the other cars, which freaked
me out and made me really fucking nervous.
then my mom drove to the post office then she dropped
me off at vicky's. me her & diana went to the mall
where i bought out zumiez once again. i got 2 cute
shirt's and i bought me diana and vicky sunglasses.
then anthony fu came. then we saw red eye for free.
it was pretty good, until i got motion sickness from
sitting really close to the screen. after that
we went to nyack and i saw vicky get into t afight with
this fucking loser kid vinnie. she kicked his ass, clearly.
then i made anthony go buy me stuff from planet wings.
which followed by me going home and yeah.

i think i'm hanging out with jen today.
then i think darrell s coming over.

i hate humidity. =[

<|3 break my heart

>:| [20 Aug 2005|11:24am]
[ mood | upset/mad ]

i can't stress this enough,

i hate my fucking father.
hes a low life asshole that has nothing
better to bitch about then his kids and
how i'm nothing and i'm bad and eveyrthing
i do is a mistake and i will.

it's all because i won't go on vacation with him,
dumb right? let's bug out cause sarah hates me.
i love it how he picks the day darrell comes back
to start shit with me. i woke up hungover and sick
and then thought about how long this week has been
and how much i've wanted to see him.

so now the day darrell gets back, tomorrow i leave
to go on vacation, when i was originally NOT GOiNG.
i am forced to go, i don't care, i'm finding
somewhere to stay tomorrow if need be. i don't
care how far it is, i dont car if i have to sleep
in a car, i am not going tomorrow. i've been crying
all fucking day so far now, and i don't think it will
stop, now i have to go to some fucknig family event
for my mother. and in this case, i wouldn't have anyone
take me anywhere right now.

i hate him.

6 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

fuck ew. [11 Aug 2005|09:04am]
[ mood | hungover ]

i have officially decided;

i am never going to smoke so much pot as i did sunday night.
and i will never drink beer before alcohol.

i am stupid.
someone educate me?

6 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[05 Aug 2005|03:55pm]
[ mood | happy ]

i am surrah.

I'm obsessed with matt skiba.

i'll eat your face.

hearts to m0o53's.


4 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[26 Jul 2005|03:32pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

wow, 3 months;

yeah, long time.
just got home from work, i'm tired and gross.
I hung out with shannon, dan, and coerts
yesterday. we went to letchworth and went
into the old buildings, the other people
freaked out too.

I got my permit, and yeah i know
i'm 17 shut up.

2 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

wow.. no words♥ [15 Jul 2005|06:19pm]
[ mood | happy ]

best past 2 days ever;;

me && alicia called jen.
and we hungout with vikki and joey and a whole buncha new people we met.
well as yuo can probably guess we drank a little
and smoked a little. but i didn't do alot cause i had work. it was a
mad fun time cause this truck almost hit us and we almost died like 9
times, it was insane.

it was darrell's birthday so i skipped out on work and went to
six flags with him and his friends and family. it was amazing
and i hadn't been there since i was like 12. I loved it and I
was so happy i didn't go to work.

today was okay, i might go out later i'm not too sure.
but everything is fine and well.

3 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[10 Jul 2005|05:18pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

do you ever get the feeling, you're always the one to do everything!?

idk, i'm really sick of like having to wait around
for other people all the time. i really havn't been
very happy lately. its frustrating when you feel like
you're alone and there's noone there to talk to. I
am just sick of like making myself available for everyone
and then EVERYONE screwing me over.

I just want to be the girl i used to be, who didnt have to care
about this pointless bullshit. the girl that just did whatever
she wanted and didn't give a fuck what anyone thought about it.
when i was that girl, i had the balls to stand up for myself and
say what the fuck was on my mind. now i don't, because i'm afraid
it might ruin things or i might just be bitchy and annoying.
I feel like lately i've been getting my hopes up about everything
and it all just comes crashing down. I feel like i have to make an
appointment like 69804567056 years in advance to hangout with someone
and for them not to bail on me.

wtf is goinng on!?


3 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

hmph :\ [07 Jul 2005|10:18pm]
[ mood | confused ]

well; it goes like this..

i never think I really am sad unless someone tells me i've been acting weird.
i went through a period of time last year were I was doing bad in school and
you could say I pretty much "rebelled" against
everybody. I just basically did my own thing and didn't care about the consequences
whether they were good for me or not. I feel like i'm going through it again.
only on the simple fact my sibling approached me about it.
but then I thought about it for a while and I wondered, like.. was I really
depressed last year or someone just thought I was? was I fine? I guess i'll never really
know and I dont know now. It never really hit me how this year I have the most
responsibility until camp started. The only thing I do understand is that, I
need to make some changes. Whether the changes be for myself or with others, something
needs to happen. I really hope it's not part 2

but in other words, I can't say i'm sad
cause i'm not really sure and I can't
say i'm happy cause that would be a lie.
I am really just confused about me and
what's going on in my life right now.
everything i'm sure will unfold as it
should they say.

| |

2 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[05 Jul 2005|05:47pm]
[ mood | blank ]

hi hiii;

i'm bored, in a towel..waiting
i don't know what for.

uhm yeah not much else to say.
camp has been good.
i get paid this thursday yay to me.

hmmm idk

| |

3 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[26 Jun 2005|03:12pm]
[ mood | tired ]

tomorrow is my first day as a senior counselor.
I am the boss of my group, and shamus haha.
kind of weird being a senior counselor since I
was a camper there for a while. I really hope
I do a good job & do my best.

The couselors I hope are cool, I know some of
them. It's gunna be a really good summmer. Also
the fatc I have alicia there too, and yeah.

today is 2 months for me
and darrell.. hmm feel's longer.

6 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

last day of school. [14 Jun 2005|06:59pm]
[ mood | content ]

Ive come to the realization that i am now pretty much a SENIOR!

I dont think i can really comprehend it yet, or consider myself that.
It's weird, I've always knew what I was going to do every year. Go to
another grade, another desk, another chair, another teacher, like everything
is always planned out for me. It is the last year everything is planned out.
I am thanking god no summerschool this summer. I passed gym, and now i am
waiting for finals to be over and summer to officially start. Tomorrow I have math
and then tuesday i have global and.. that's it. :]

i just want friday to come..again

<3 buh byeee

7 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

:] he's going the distanceeee!! [05 Jun 2005|08:36pm]
[ mood | sweaty grossness ]

my weekend was pretty good actually.

from right after school i hung out with shannon and after dan picked us up and we went to south.
there was police and sniffing dogs. they passed by some lockers and was bugging out. after we were done at south dan drove me to darrell's with shannon and they met for the first time. I was
at darrell's and we picked up his brother and dropped him off and darrell bought me pizza. after that we picked up his brother again and went home. i was there until 11, but i fell asleep at like 10:45. darrell had to wake me up and then i went home and slept.

Saturday: darrell went to his cousins wedding hile i stayed home. me bex and shamus were bored so we decided to stay in and get drunk. we played bullshit but as a drinking game and had rocket wraps. we hung out in the hot tub and tried watching meet the fockers. i was so drunk i was asleep by 10. darrell called me at 2 in the morning and i was on the phone with him for about 5 mins until i got really sick. then i fell back asleep.

Sunday: i went with darrell and his brother to a racetrack in jersey. me and darrell watched his brother ride his bike and stuff. i as there rpetty much all day today and it was mad hot out. i was there for alot of my day and i got home like at around 7:30. i ate some food and here i am now.. its so hot out.

4 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[22 May 2005|10:01am]
[ mood | guilty ]

hello :]

yeah its like 10 am on a sunday morning. dont ask me why i'm up
i keep getting up mad early on the weekends for some reason it's weird.
anyway, my weekend was ok i guess. i went to darrell's house friday with
aler bear and we hung out and stuff, we watched tv mostly. last night
was ok too. I hung out with jen most of the day and then later we
picked up darrell and we all came back to my house. and yeah, i feel
guilty for what i did last night, really guilty. it was keeping me up
all last night and i still am thinking about it now. but whatever.
hopefully people will come over today and yeah we can do cool stuff :]

peace out cub scout. ;P

4 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

:[ like wtf. [14 May 2005|09:02pm]
[ mood | sick ]

okay well first off.

i had an ok day eysterday. school was pretty easy all we did
was watch movies and just and stuff. then later I went to darrell's
and hung out with hsi friend and then aleesh came and we hung out.

today fucking sucks..
i was supposed to go outto this girl's sweet 16 with darrell
but first i woke up with my stomach feeling horrbile. then I
got a headache and then i had a fever. my mom said i should
stay home.. this really fucking sucks and i am not happy about
it. while everyone is out having a great time i'm stuck home.
shamus is here and yeah i'm bored.. well its better then me
being by myself. it just sucks that i had to waste a good saturday
.. i feel like shit phyiscally and emotionally today.

make me feel better? <3

2 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[03 May 2005|06:33pm]
[ mood | bitchy ]

ok update.
well these past few weekends have been good for me :]
I went to darrell's house and we hung out a couple of times.
me and aler bear did some cool stuff and what not. as always.
I dont feel good right now. I'm doing alot of bitching and complaining
but yeah whatever i'll get over it. and i have to makeup a gym class.
I swear gym gets so stupid in highschool. i madeup my three classes and
now they bring up i didn't complete my physical fitness. its so retarded
but whatever i'll suck it up and go make it up. i'm hungry so i'm gunna get
something to eat.

2 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

[29 Apr 2005|01:12pm]
[ mood | i wonder ]

I am thinking its a sign that
the *freckles* in our eyes are mirror images and
when we kiss they're perfectly a l i g n e d

<|3 break my heart

my break. [27 Apr 2005|02:46pm]
[ mood | cloud 9 ]

well my break was pretty good.

+hung out with aler bear
+hung out with bert which i havnt in a while which was good.
+saw alot like love and guess who again!

-kind of boring
-got ditched a few times
-i didn't see aler bear for almost for 13 hours :[

oh i have a boyfriend and his name is darrell
and yeah i'm happy and all smiles basically. :]<3

3 make me bleed <|3 break my heart

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